Modern-Day Hunger Games Parody
by BeingMe4Ever
Summary: Its modern-day VA, and all isn't well for Katniss Everdeen. With her bratty sister Prim, crazy mother, obese best friend, and her stalker, now teammate Peeta Mellark. Will she be able to survive the harsh world of reality TV? Or will the other contestants drive her to the breaking point?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**A/N: This is my first Hunger Games fanfic, so I hope y'all enjoy. It's a modern-day parody. Leave some feedback please, I want to know what y'all think, even if it's bad. Thanks!**

"Katniss!" I hear Prim yell from her bed.  
"Shut up, brat, I'm trying to sleep." I scream back, throwing the pillow over her face.  
"muff fief fetch minke." Prim mumbles from under the smothering pillow.  
"Fine", I sigh, relieving her face of the pillow, "what do you need to tell me?"  
" I was trying to say, I dreamed they picked me for the Games." Her mushed, yet smiling face says. Getting chosen for the Hunger Games is all any teenager between 12 & 18 would dream for.  
"Its your first year Prim, there not going to pick you." I reply, dreading the idea of my sister getting to do something I've only had chance to dream of.  
"Yeah, well, my dreams usually come true." Prim replies, and falls back asleep.

"Hey Catnip, wait up!" My best friend Gale yells. I slow down my jogging to let his fat butt catch up. Ever since the mining accident, Gale's really let himself go. Gale finally reaches me after several awkward minutes of me cheering his obese behind on.  
"Huhuh, H-hey, Ca-huh uh-Catnip." He gasps between breaths.  
"Hey Gale, how's life?" I reply steadily, even though I've been the one jogging for thirty minutes.  
"Huhuh, Good, besides my mammy's trying to get me to lose weight. I do-huh-n't see the problem." He poses before me, his large breasts over-power mine.  
"Me neither." I lie, looking at his crotch sweat stain. God, that kid needs to work out.  
"Happy Reaping Day!" He says, finally gaining his composer. "I brought you a present!" I stifle a groan, last time Gale brought me something, it was a dead squirrel he'd stepped on. I look away as he pulls something out of the flap between his stomach and breasts. I turn back and see the foulest piece of bread I've ever laid eyes on.  
"Oh, gee, thanks." I reply, taking his "thoughtful" gesture.  
"Go on, eat it. I paid good money for that. Had to trade my cat a squirrel." He stares at me intently, waiting for me to eat the bread. Should I even call it bread? Sweat has soaked through and lint has covered it like powdered sugar on a donut. I take a deep breath, hold my nose and take a bite. Vile flavor reaches even through my plugged nose, I retched my stomach onto the neighbor's front lawn.  
"OmehGawd, what was that!?" I yell between gags. He starts bawling.  
"Well, your always complaining how hungry you are, I was just trying to help." He starts to storm away and I feel guilty. Gale's always been a "special" boy.  
"Wait!" I call to him. "How many times is your name in today?"  
He turns around, hope gleaming in his eyes. "42, you?" I want to scream, of course Gale gets more times, him and his fat everything. The Peacemakers always have felt sorry for him.  
"20." I mutter and storm back to my house.

"Katelynn, honey, time for your scrubby-dub." My insane mother yells. "Do you want my help?" She floats down the stairs, humming a kiddy tune even though Prim and I are teens.  
"Mom, we talked about this last week. I'm sixteen, I don't need your help." I say and she burst into tears. For the second time today, I feel horrible. "Fine." I reply and her cuckoo face lights up.  
After a very awkward bath, my mom hands me the dress I'll be wearing to the Reaping ceremony.  
"Mom, isn't this Prim's?" I ask, holding up the three sizes too small garment.  
"No, no, I don't think so." She shakes her head.  
"Well, I think its too-"  
"Shut up, you ungrateful, little wench! I spent all our grocery money on that and I expect you to wear it!" She screams at me. I nod my head, not wanting her to beat me again, and force the tiny dress over my head.  
"Oh God, it's so tight." I gasp as I finally get it completely on.  
"That's what he said." Prim calls from the other room.  
"In your dreams' Little Duck." I call back, using my mom's crazy nickname. She's the reason I'm called Katniss. My real name is Katherine, but she can only remember that it starts with a K. The town bell goes off, warning us its time for the Reaping.  
"Come on, Kelsey and Poppy, its time for the Raping. Maybe this year they'll use condoms." My mother calls as she heads out the door. Prim and I shake our heads and follow her.

"Welcome, welcome. To the 74th annual Hunger Games Reaping." Effie Trinket says from the small town stage. "And may the odds be ever in your favor."  
I quietly walk to my spot next to the other girls my age. The turn away at the awful smell I give off. Since mom's crazy and doesn't work, she uses pickle juice as bath water and mayo as shampoo. Let's just say I don't exactly smell like roses. Effie starts rambling about unimportant crap, so I'll just explain what exactly the Hunger Games are.  
74 years ago, rebels rebelled, angered by the crap we called reality T.V. They started protests trying to get America to stop watching it. Saying it killed brain cells and made people obese. The protests lasted for months and about a third of the country was in. So many channels relied on Reality TV. The networks were in ruins. But a light shone through the darkness. Panem. A little-known network, with crazy ideas usually copying from other shows. They thought of a brilliant, and somewhat already done idea. Creating what we now know as the Hunger Games.  
Each year a girl and a boy from the twelve districts are chosen to compete. They fight for the chance to win two million dollars, or live in the shame of being a failure. It's every girl's dream to win the Hunger Games. Winning doesn't just mean money, oh, wait, yeah it does. And if anyone needs money, its me. My mom only has twenty cents to her name. I have to sell my body for us to survive. Oh, but not in the whore way. I mow lawns. But let me tell you, some of those dads look for anything besides their wives for enjoyment,and they're not too selfish with their money, if you know how to work 'em. Wink, wink.  
"And that concludes a brief history over our game show." Finishes Effie, a collective sigh of relief spreads through the crowd like Herpes spread through our school last year. Now it's time for the fun part. I just know I'm going to get picked' I have to.  
"Ladies first." She reaches into the huge glass bowl of names. She plucks one from the bottom.  
"Everdeen," I start to run up, I can't believe it! "Primrose Everdeen." I stop dead in my tracks.  
"That little b-otch!" I scream. The girls shoot me dirty looks but I don't care. How could my sister, my bratty, self-obsessed sister win? She pranced through the crowd and shoots me a snarky glance. Man, I want to slap her. I run up and shove her as hard as I can onto the pavement.  
"WHAT THE FU-" She starts to scream, but I kick her in the ribs.  
"I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!" I race up the stairs and rip the paper into shreds before Prim can get me.  
"I don't think-" Effie draws in her thick southern accent, but I interrupt.  
"She's a lunatic! You heard the language she was using. Do you want that on there?" I defend myself.  
"Well, actually-" But I interrupt again.  
"As her sister I feel it is my duty to take her place." I shoot Effie a threatening glance, and turn my ankle so she see the compact bow I have hidden in my dad's boots.  
"Oh," She says, getting the message. "I see. Alright, tell me, female tribute represtin' District 12, what's your name?" Joy floods through my veins.  
"Katniss Everdeen." I say proudly.  
"Alright Kat, Gents next." She reaches into the boy bowl. "Mellark," three boys step forward all glaring menacingly at each other. "Peter Mellark." The smallest boy runs forward and I instantly recognize him.  
"No, not him! He's my stalker!" I yell pushing him off the stage. He flails his arms back trying to gain his balance. At the same time Prim wakes up.  
"I HATE YOU, KATHERINE, I HATE YOU, BIT-" But Peter lands on top of her, and I hear a loud snap as her spine breaks in two. Somehow, she's still alive, for I can hear her loud screaming. Gale waddled over and help Peter up.  
"What's your name, clumsy?" Gale asks.  
"Well, my mame ish Peeta." He replies with a heavy speech impediment. Gale chortles loudly and throws Peeta on stage.  
"Come along, Peeta. Shake hands with Katniss." I shake Peeta's clammy hand and we head our way to the train.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 (I think)

**A/N: Thanks to all the reviewers,followers, favoriters,and just plain readers. Oh and I don't own the Hunger Games, sorry if you thought I did.**

**Again, just to be clear, it's not mine.**

**Enjoy!**

"Come in, you have just the right amount of time to finish your conversation." Says the door dude as he lets my mother pushing Prim in an old chair with our bike tires glued to the left side. Prim gives me a death glare and mutters some unprintable words as mother rolls her to the far corner of the room.  
"Now Phil, there's no reason to talk to Kevin like that. It's not her fault you broke your foot." Mom scolds, patting the only window in the district.  
"BROKE MY FOOT?" Prim's obviously had it with our dear mother. "FIRST, My name is Prim! It isn't Poppy or Posey or Phil. It's Primrose Everdeen! SECOND, It is Katniss's fault I broke my SPINE. If it wasn't for her, I'd be walking and a tribute in the 74th Hunger Games. But, noooooooooo. Little Miss just had to volunteer, which isn't even allowed! Maybe if you paid attention to your children instead of painting the window with your spit, we wouldn't have this problem!" Prim shouts from her confinement. It sounds like she stuck her tampon up to far.  
"Primmy! Calm yo PMSing tits! There isn't a reason for you to yell at mamma like that! Honestly, all she does is bathe us, it's not her fault you FORGOT HOW TO WALK!" I scream back. Damn, that girl makes me PO'ed.  
"FORGOT HOW TO WALK? I'LL MAKE YOU FOrGET HOW TO WALK!" She lunges out of her chair and lands face first into the table. Her screams rip through the room.  
"Dear God, Prim, why'd you do that?" I say between laughs. Oh sweet Jesus, I'm crying. Prim lifts her self up with her arms and I see the mess she's made of her face. Her nose hangs to the side, reduced to a lumpy mass. Her eyes have already started to swell up, making her look like a racoon, a very, very damaged racoon.  
"Oh Paulie, now you're not that pretty one." Mom sighs and sits down in Prim's mangled chair.  
"This is your fault, Katherine. All your fault." Prim says as she drags herself to the door. "A little help here!" She bangs on the wood, telling the door guy to open it.  
"Prissy, make sure you mop up this mess." Mom says as she exits my prison. "I lurve you, Karl." And with that, she rolls out the door. At the same time I see a fork lift appear outside of my window.  
"Gale!" I scream, excited to see my BFF. The fork lift stops and I lift up the window.  
"Hey, smexy. Looking fine today." Gale jokes, I think.  
"Thanks, Gale, you too." I reply through clenched teeth, God he's disgusting.  
"Oh, well this is awkward, i was actually talking to that piece of steak over yonder." He says pointing to a piece of Prim's nose, still left on the floor. "Can, can I have it?" I barf a little in my mouth.  
"Uh, that's, uh, Prim's nose." I say, trying to hold in the puke.  
"Yummy, I always though Prim was the tasty-I mean pretty one." I can no longer hold back the puke in my mouth . Prim, the pretty one? She's twelve Gale's eighteen. Plus, I am so much hotter than that piece of junk.  
"So, can I have it?" Gale asks again. I sigh and toss him the gooey piece of flesh. He attacks it like a starving honey badger. Gee, I can't remember the last time I ate meat. Mamma so poor I only get to eat Gale's leftovers, only there are none.  
"Gale, can you promise me something?" I ask worried about my family.  
"No, I can't promise not to eat your family." He says, "Prim's is delicious."  
"Oh, okay nevermind." It's like the SOB read my mind. Gale starts to lower and i know its time for him to leave.  
"Bye!" I yell. But he's to busy eating a donut.

"Y'all are in for a real treat." Effie Trinket says as we walked along the hallway of the train. "This is Haymitch's room, and this is his bathroom. He spends a whole lotta time in here." She pushed open the door to a drunken Haymitch laying in a puddle of puke. "Hey, Hey Mitch." She coos to him.  
"Shuddaup you goodfornutinpiecosh-blehahahahah" His puke shot out like a geyser, straight into Effie's open mouth. And she swallowed. For the third, maybe fourth time today I felt sick. Peeta looked green, but Effie somehow managed to keep her composure. "Alrighty, Haymitch I think we're done here. Kids, say bye to Mitch." I nodded my head and waved, unable to open my mouth for the fear of puking. Peeta just stood there.  
"Honestly, that's not the first time I've swallowed his bodily fluids." She replies, wiping the excess puke from her perfectly glossed lips. Peeta burst into tears. "What? Once he peed in my drink." She says, sauntering down the corridor. Peeta breathes in a sigh of relieve and so do I. Man, I thought she meant giving Haymitch mouth-to-Well, his baby stick.  
"Oh, and sometimes he and I do a little bedroom tango, if you know what I'm saying, wank, wank." Peeta stops, mouth ajar, and starts bawling again. I just clench my teeth and follow down the hall.

"Alrighty, where were we? Ah, yes now this called food. F-O-O-D. Does that ring a bell, Katniss?" Effie stares at me intently. What a snob! Sure I've been reduced to eating my mom's pottery (She made it before she went crazy) but that doesn't mean I don't know what food is.  
"Wow girlfriend, now I done be raised in the ghetto, so i know my way 'round a pocket knife. If I was you, I'd watch my mouth." I threaten, showing the bow I have hidden in my boot. Effie reaches into her enormous wig and pepper sprays me.  
"GFFUFUFFUDFFUCCFUUFDFUFUDFUFUDFUDUFDUFDUFUFUUDFU" I scream, causing her to spray yet another round into my burning gray eyes. I reach for the bow and press the button to elongate it. Aiming it poorly, I shoot at her stupid, mofu face. I hear a loud crack as the arrow connects to what I guess is the table, but then again I can't f-ing see!  
"That is Mahogany!" She grabs my braid and yanks my face into the table.  
"You see what you've done?!" She rubs my face into the table. "You, bad, naughty, girl!" She bangs my face into the table until I pass ou-

"Pwetty, pwetty girl." I hear that all to familiar lisp and feel his soft hands on my face.  
"Peeta? What are you doing?" I hear him zip up his trousers and notice the spreading warm spot on my pants.  
"Were you, playing with yourself?" I ask, dreading the answer. He makes a gagging noise.  
"Eeww, naw. I wash mawking meh terwittowy." And he runs out of the room.  
"THAT'S DISGUSTING!" I call to him but he's already gone.

"Hows do I win?" I hear Peeta ask as I make my way to the dining cart.  
"Whoa, kid I just got up, haven't had breakfast yet." Haymitch pulls out a flask and downs it in two seconds flat.  
"Isn't it a little early to drink?" I say making my way to the table. I notice the bloodstain from last night is still there and Effie shoots me a warning glance. I keep my head down.  
"Cupcake, you don't want to know things I've seen, the horrors I've done. I mean you know I've been with Effie." At that moment a knife went flying through the air, landing straight into the table.  
"That is mahogany!" I mimic her southern accent. Another piece of silverware goes sailing through the air. This time its a fork and it goes through my hand.  
"That is your hand!" Effie says, and stalks off, pushing Peeta to the ground. He makes a soft whimpering noise, reminding of a dog I once had before we had to eat it for food. That was the best meal I've ever had. Suddenly hunger fills me and I pull the fork from my hand. Ignoring the blood and pain I stalk my prey. Peeta's still on the ground and I come up behind him. I say the prayer my grandmamma taught me, and plunged the fork into his back.  
"FUSH YOU!" Peeta says the second obscene thing I've ever heard him utter, and it reminds me of the first time he did.  
*QUE FLASHBACK*  
It was raining and i was soaking wet and cold. Did you know rain could do that? I sure didn't, not until that day. Peeta had followed me for a good two years and this day was no different. He was watching through the bakery window and he burned some bread. I don't why they let that boy go anywhere near a fire. His mamma got all mad and slapped his pretty white face. He had let out the same cry.  
*END FLASHBACK*  
"Sugar Cookie, why'd you stab dear, Peeta over here?" Haymitch asked drunkenly.  
"Ish's Peeta, nawt Peeta." Peeta retorts, he smells so good. Like a nice hamburger with fresh buns. Just one little bite.  
"Boy, I'd stop arguing for no good reason and pay attention to Pumpkin Pie over here. 'Cause i think she's gonna eat you." Damn Haymitch, he foiled my plan. Peeta turns around hope fills his eyes.  
"You'd eat meh?" He asks. Wow, things just got weird. "A girlsh nevah wanted to eat meh befowe."  
"I don't mean it like that, it's just, you smell so good." Wait, that didn't come out right. "I mean you smell like a hamburger. I really good, fresh hamburger." But he isn't paying attention anymore, instead he's singing a song.  
"Katniss wants to eat meh!  
She hash finally learned  
All sshe really needsh to be free  
Ish to realishe sshe ish mine.  
Now bwothews do you shee?  
Thish pretty girl wantsh meh to dine!  
Sshe will always belong to meh!  
Sshe will always be mine!"  
"I would have eaten him if I was you." Haymitch says and heads back to his room.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry for not posting sooner! I'd been really caught up in the end of school and some fantastic books. I've also had major writer's block with this chapter. It's not the best, just as a warning, but it will help lead the way to some awesome(I hope) chapters. I plan on posting chapter four and five by the end of this week now that school has finally ended(I'm officially a high schooler!) **

**By the way, contrary to common to belief, I did not write nor do I own the Hunger Games. **

As we pulled into the station of the Capitol, Panem's lead broadcaster, I look at the crowds piling up on the streets.  
"Shey're all hewe fo ush!" Peeta starts waving to the colorful group of people gathered outside the train.  
"No, Bud, I think they're here for Effie." Haymtich replies clearly hungover, for there was no rude remarks after. Sure enough when Effie stepped off the train, the entire gaggle rushed to her. Cooing and sobbing, they were sympathizing with her, saying that "that mean, vile creature couldn't hurt her anymore". I don't remember Effie ever getting attacked by an animal.  
"She was horrible!" I hear Effie wail. "She threatened me and ruined my table with blood! I don't know if it will ever come out!" Oh, well, this is awkward. I start to back away but two of her "friends" grab me and yank me to the side.  
"Now listen here, you little coal mining, piece of white trash, you leave Ef alone. You don't understand what she had to do to get here." The green haired man threatens me.  
"Yeah, sex-changes aren't easy. She probably took to much estrogen." I say back. I am so going to die.  
"HOW DID YOU KNOW?!" I hear Effie's semi-masculine scream. I was right? I guess that explains why she threw me on the table so hard. She rushes up to me and shoves me against the wall.  
"If you ever, ever tell anyone else. I will rip your face off and feed it to your mom. Then I'll rip her face off and feed it to your sister. Then I'll rip off everyone you know's face and have a four-star meal. Do you understand?" Effie threatens, while rubbing my cheek against the cool, smooth metal. It doesn't do anything, but it's the thought that counts.

~  
"My God, girl! Do you ever shave?" Another colorful man asks me. I shake my head, back in district 12 we only use razors to commit suicide. Surprisingly they have a great market.  
"We're going to have to wax you again and probably bathe you, too." A green-skinned woman says and sniffs me. " Do you wash yourself in pickle juice?"  
"Why yes! It's great for your skin, but you should already know that." Who knew there were other pickle-bathers out there?  
"How dare you!" She screams and storms out of the room. What? Pickle baths are a bad thing? These people keep getting weirder and weirder.  
"Come on, lets go take you to Cinna." The man shakes his head.

"That was really brave what you did." The guy says as he walks in. "I like girls with guts. I also like girls who are STD free it gives me a better buisness." Giving me a knowing look.  
"Look, he TOLD me he was clean. It's not my fault he had gonorrhea, Big Daddy." I whine. "At least he was generous and paid the medical bills." Big Daddy, more commonly known as Cinna, is a pimp, The Capitol hired him to better their income. He gets all the fathers and sons to start watching.  
"I know, Daddy just likes to play with his girls. Ain't that allowed, Mockingjay?" He raises his perfect eyebrow, calling me by my alias.  
"I guess." People complain about normal bosses, but I doubt any of them has had a pimp.  
"Good. Now I was thinking 'bout the district parade. I think this year we should set you on fire." Is he crazy? Doesn't he remember the last time I was around an open flame? I still have the scars.  
"No way!" I shout, my belly button, or what used to be my belly button, starts throbbing. An angry reminder never to do flame body shots again.  
" Hey, it's alright. These gonna be fake." Thank Heavens! I was staring to get worried.  
"Awesome, when do i get suited up?" Finally, I'll be able to wear something besides the burlap sack I brought with me.  
"Well, since real time doesn't exist. It's merely whatever fits the story. How about now?"  
"Let's do it!"

I step up onto the truck flat bed, admiring the amazing costumes the other contestants have. Then there's Pete and me. Everyone else is wearing beautiful dresses and suits, colored to match their district. While we're stuck in these uncomfortable skin-tight leather jumpsuits that makes everything visible, and i mean everything. I know i should have worn underwear; the guy from District 2 can't keep his eyes off me. Cinna comes over and douses us with the fake fire. We look like we came of the set of a bad music video from the eighties.  
"Are you sure these are the best outfits D12 has every seen?" I question Cinna's reliability. He lets exasperated sigh.  
"Of course they are!" He half-shouts, "They let the buyers have the best view of your bods. Well, except for they year we sent the m out naked. That was one hell of a season."  
"Okay, but can you get Peeta and District 2 to stop staring, I'm pretty sure they're mind raping me." He just shakes his head.  
"No, we gotta make you look desirable."  
"I don't think Peeta's staring could make anyone look desirable."  
"ATTENTION TRIBUTES, PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE PARADE ENTRANCE WE WILL BEGIN IN 5 MINUTES." The intercom booms, pulling me away from Cinna.  
The driver heads to our spot, dead last.  
"You nervoush?" Peeta asks.  
"No." I say, hoping to shut him up. But it's a lost cause.  
"Weally? 'Caush I sure am. I'thve never sheen sho many people! Well, cept fowr that one time..." I drone him out. Goodness, for a kid with a speech problem he sure does talk a lot.  
"WELCOME, WELCOME TO THE 74TH ANNUAL HUNGER GAMES PARADE!" The announcer yells rather loudly.  
"Here comes D1, with their proud tributes, Glimmer and Marvel. Aren't those some names? And my God look at her dress, it just shines!" The very flamboyant man says. He introduces each district like that, sounding gayer and gayer with each float. "Oh my God! IS D12 on fire? And look at that leather. They look," He pauses to find the right word, probably atrocious, "FABULOUS!"  
The crowds cheer throwing hats and wigs; I think they're trying to give us lice. Peeta grabs my hand and I let him, its better then hearing him whine. Plus, the crowd loves it.  
After the parade some boring old dude gave a speech and then we headed up to our rooms. I was so tired, as soon as got to the bed I was out like a light. I woke up to a terrible sight.  
"AHHHHH!" I scream. Effie comes running in.  
"What's wrong?" She asks annoyed.  
"My skin, it, it's so..." I don't know how to describe it. A horrified look washes over Effie's face.  
"Itchy?! Bed bugs! dear Satan, we've got bed bugs!" She starts to grab the phone off the wall.  
"No, that's the problem. My skin isn't itchy." I rub my hands up and down my arms but I can't find a single bite. I hear Peeta scream, I guess he too has woken to find the miserable reality of our situation.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Like I promised, Chapter 4! I'll be starting a Les Miserables fanfic, so the updates for this one may be a little more spread out. This chapter is a little shorter than the others but once the Games begin they should be getting longer. Alright, I'm done so enjoy reading! Oh, and I still don't own the Hunger Games.

After the bed bug incident, Peeta and I made our way to "the training room". The training room is basically just used as an excuse to introduces the tributes to one another. You know, to start alliances, feuds, and romances. It's great for to get viewers because everyone likes drama. So when Peeta and I entered the room I was not surprised by all the cameras. Peeta, however, was. He started stuttering and doing an uncomfortable sweating thing. And, since we just walked in, the cameras followed us.  
"Peeta, over here!" A camera man called. He came rushing toward Peeta. "How are you feeling about your competition?" Peeta started to shake.  
"Uh, well, uh," He wiped some sweat off his forehead. "I shink dat, uh, uhm, well." He froze up just kind of standing there.  
"Who do you think is your because competitor?" Peeta didn't say anything. he just stood there, a sweaty, shaky mess, and stared into the camera. "Can you answer that, Peeta?" Still no answer. A few off the other tributes had gathered around us and were laughing. The camera man was loving this. "Peeta? Is anybody in there?" More laughter. "Can. You. Tell. Me. Who. Your. Biggest. Competition. Peeta. Mellark?" That seemed to snap Peeta out of his trance. He looked around at the group that gathered around for the first time.  
"Well, I'd Hash to shay Rue." Peeta answered, dead-serious. The crowed erupted into laughter. For the very first time, I saw Peeta, the calm, quiet boy next door, get angry. And not that I'm just going to sit here in the dark angry, oh no, Peeta Mellark was furious. "SHUDDUP! JUST SHUDDAUP. Have any of you seen Rue? He's huge! He probably weighs a billion pounds." Peeta was so angry his stutter was gone. Now at this point, i should probably tell you that Rue was actually a small little 12-year-old girl from D11. Peeta, however, got confused and was actually talking about Rue's district partner Thresh. He is one hell of a racist. Rue, the real one, was very hurt by this comment, and she proved it.  
All of a sudden a dark ball came rushing past me and heading straight for Peeta. "Hi-ya!" She screamed and kicked Peeta in the balls. He went down with a thud and a squeal. Rue continues to kick him, calling him a no-good cracker. Blood is flying everywhere but the crowd stands still, enjoying the show. This was probably the most entertaining thing that had ever happened in this training room. Eventually, Rue calms down and pulls herself from Peeta. But spits into his mouth for good measures. I like her.  
The cameramen find their spots back in the corner of the room and allow us to do some "training". The main trainer, a woman whose name I've forgotten, explains to us what kind of personal training.  
"Glimmer, you will be heading over to vocal projection first, then to health and beauty." The blond girl whispers an "OK" and heads over. "Marvel, you'll be heading over to threatening yet slightly creepy, facial expression. Clove you'll be heading over to poorly timed monologues. Cato you'll be heading over to eye contact..." I kind of zone out until a weird-looking redhead raises her head.  
"...you'll be heading over to the memorization of everything except deadly fruits..." The girl smiles and heads over, I didn't catch her name but she looks like Foxface to me. I start fiddling with my braid until there are only four of us left.  
"Rue, you'll be sent to anger management. Thresh, you're being sent to self-defense:rocks." The two district 11 counterparts head over. "Katniss, you're going over flower arrangements and vocal lessons." Yay! It's like I've always wanted. "Peeta, you'll be doing some good ole speech therapy." Figures, his way of talking is getting pretty annoying.

The training was pretty boring, all i got to do was sing silly meadow songs and arrange flowers into vases. I have no idea how this is going to help me. Peeta, however, sounds way better. i guess he just had to channel all that built up anger and use it to control his speech. Maybe he won't be the least desirable tribute. I really didn't like any of the other tributes except for Rue. They all seem really stuck up and douchey, but Rue seems awesome. She kind of reminds me of Prim.  
After a week of training, they send us down to get our scores. They call us down by district, so automatically Peeta and I are last.  
"Are you nervous?" Peeta asks. His speech has improved a bunch.  
"Nah, me and my coach have put together a perfect rendition of Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys." It's going to be amazing.  
"KATNISS EVERDEEN" The mechanically voice booms. Peeta touches my hand lightly as I get up.  
"Break a leg." He whispers as exit the room. When I get to the stage, I see the audience and i get a surge of stage fright. The music starts and i miss my intro. The score keepers laugh and scribble something down. i find a way into the song and nail the notes perfectly. I look at the score keepers but they're to busy looking at the pig that was being brought to them.  
"Hey!" I scream at them but nobody looks up. "Hey! Did you not see me nail that?" A few do look up, but all they do is laugh. Fine, I'll show them whose boss. I grab my bow and aim for the game maker's head. I let the arrow sail. Splat. The apple from the pig goes flying into the wall. Darn, I missed.  
"Thanks for your consideration." And I walk out.

"What did you say, pancakes?" Haymitch asks as we sit down to watch the scores.  
"Thanks for your consideration." Haymitch and I laugh, but Effie's upset.  
"Did you think about everybody else before you let that illegal arrow fly? What if you'd hit Seneca?" She asks her face turning red.  
"Well, actually I was aiming for-" But Peeta cuts me off.  
"Shh. There starting!" We all stare at the numbers sailing past the screen.  
"Peeta Mellark-8." We all cheer and holler, my mishap momentarily forgotten.  
"Katniss Everdeen" I hold my breath. "11."  
"Nice job, Chocolate." Haymitch says. Effie nods and smiles. Maybe I could win this. That statement no longer startles me. After all, I did something illegal and got the highest score. Maybe winning is my reality.


End file.
